Opening Day is No Time for Battered Fan Syndrome

Opening Day – the most glorious day of all the days – is tomorrow. The pure joy that I feel heading into this event cannot be diminished, but I am a little annoyed by the general feeling of doom and gloom I am sensing from Phillies fans. Everywhere I go, I hear people worrying about the season and preparing themselves for a subpar team.  

Um... What?

This recent behavior has left me with this (possibly offensive, but true) realization: Phillies fans suffer from something I'm going to call Battered Fan Syndrome. The biggest symptoms of Battered Fan Syndrome include a severe inferiority complex, inability to appreciate success, consistent complaining about the "stress" that comes with being a fan, and threatening to jump off the bandwagon but always coming back for more. This type of damage can only be caused by such miserable years that a World Series and five straight playoff trips can't help. (Not to mention the harm that comes from the other three Philly teams.) The media often exacerbates this condition with its pretty much constant negativity and ability to press the panic button faster than the speed of light.

The syndrome explains why Phillies fans are never comfortable being on top and are completely consumed by their fear of the good times ending and being back in the gutter. But Opening Day 2012 is not the time to let the ghosts of summers past creep into your brain! No, it’s not ideal to begin the season without your starting right side of the infield and no, nothing will ever top the Clifton Phifer rapture of last Spring Training, but let’s try to be rational.

First of all, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley aren't dead. Ryan will be back 100% most likely before the All-Star break, and while it could take him some time to regain his swing, he will be fine. The outlook for Chase might be slightly cloudier, and while it's upsetting because we love him and will miss seeing his beautiful face on the field, let's remember his numbers last year. He hit .259 with 11 HR and 44 RBI and only played in 103 games. The Phillies finished with 102 wins. If they could perform in 2011 with Chase's fill-ins, 2012 should actually be no different.

Then there's good ol' Charlie. He still can't manage a bullpen, but the man knows how to win ballgames. It's clear from Spring Training’s emphasis on bunting, and the focus on adding utility depth during the off-season, that this team is ready to win games by any means necessary. Charlie and his staff seem dedicated to the "Get 'em on, Get 'em In" strategy (see: Juan Pierre) and clean, fundamental baseball. This game plan will only help the team when Ryan is back in the line-up, considering he hasn’t hit more than 35 homeruns in the last two years.

I’m going to throw Jim Thome into this list of reasons to be positive, as well. This guy is a huge reason that the organization is where it is. When he signed here in 2003, he ended the era of superstar players running out of town, and started the era in which people like Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee choose to come to Philly. Now, he’s back – possibly for his last season – and just seeing him in red pinstripes again gives me a feeling that anything is possible. He is a mentor for the younger players on the team, an experienced veteran who has been through pretty much everything, and someone who can infuse some fun into the team – something I think was missing from the 2011 campaign.

Oh, and of course there are those starting pitchers. No one can touch the Phillies rotation. Roy, Cole, Cliff, Vance and Joey B. are hands down the best 1-5 in the league. Other teams' rotations have gotten better, but they aren't this good, experienced or diverse. I truly don't even see any reason to comment more on this.

After seven awful, baseball-less months and images of the Cardinals winning the World Series on repeat, it's finally time for the 2012 Phillies season to begin. Whether you're worried about Ryan and Chase or Cole's contract status or the glowing centerfield acid trip in Miami (no wait, that actually is worth being upset over), Phillies fans, I beg you to relax. Have a cheesesteak, enjoy the quality product this organization has on the field, and remember: Life is always better during baseball season. There may come a time when the Fightins' are at the bottom of the NL East again, but IT IS NOT THIS (Opening) DAY.

 

(Cue inspirational 9th inning movie clip, Lord of the Rings style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXGUNvIFTQw)

Bring It, March!

I hate March.

I really, really hate March.

It’s still cold. I’m not in Clearwater. I’m pale as anything.

Baseball is around the corner, but really, that just makes my desire to be at the ballpark even worse. Yes, the hockey is good, but the last 20 games are so stressful. I don’t do March Madness. The same reports coming out of Spring Training, every day. The list goes on and on. Essentially – with the exception of St. Patty’s Day – this month makes me want to crawl in my bed and not come out until Opening Day.

This year, I’m preparing early with my 5-step “Make March Less Awful” plan.

Step 1: Listen to Spring Training games on the radio at work. This is a perfect combination of things, and a carry-over from March 2011. It makes the afternoons at work absolutely fly by and it’s so comforting to hear those familiar voices. Usually the broadcasts are full of funny stories from Spring Training and Scott Franzke and LA making fun of each other about all of the things they did over the winter. Win.

Step 2: REALLY pay attention to the late innings of Spring Training games. I don’t like to talk about it, but the fact is the Phillies are getting old. In the next couple of years, the franchise is going to look substantially different. So, for the first time in a while, those unknown minor leaguers playing in the 9^th inning of Spring Training games may seriously have an impact, either on the field or in a trade. Now is the perfect time to pay attention to their mechanics, fundamentals, and most importantly, figure out what assets the team can play with.

Step 3: Watch my favorite sports movies. Once baseball season starts, there is very little time to watch movies. What better way to infuse fun and joy into these miserable March weeks than to watch all my sports movies? Opening Day is 5 weeks from today. I think I shall try to come up with my top five favorite sports movies of all time. There will be more on this soon…

Step 4: Try not to lose my mind watching the Atlantic Division points totals. For all the reasons that I hate March, scoreboard watching usually takes on a life of its own. Without much else to entertain myself with, I sit and watch the standings. It’s stressful, and the thought of not having the Flyers in the Stanley Cup Playoffs (aka the greatest thing in sports) hurts my heart.

Step 5: Watch this interview with Chase every day. Watching Chase get completely smitten about his son (and Jim Thome) is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I love him. Watch this and you'll be instantly happy – perfect for March! You'll also probably wonder if the Phillies forgot to pack sunscreen.

Okay, this may not be the greatest plan I’ve ever come up with, but at this point, anything will help! Bring it March – I’m kind of ready for you.