Opening Day is No Time for Battered Fan Syndrome

Opening Day – the most glorious day of all the days – is tomorrow. The pure joy that I feel heading into this event cannot be diminished, but I am a little annoyed by the general feeling of doom and gloom I am sensing from Phillies fans. Everywhere I go, I hear people worrying about the season and preparing themselves for a subpar team.  

Um... What?

This recent behavior has left me with this (possibly offensive, but true) realization: Phillies fans suffer from something I'm going to call Battered Fan Syndrome. The biggest symptoms of Battered Fan Syndrome include a severe inferiority complex, inability to appreciate success, consistent complaining about the "stress" that comes with being a fan, and threatening to jump off the bandwagon but always coming back for more. This type of damage can only be caused by such miserable years that a World Series and five straight playoff trips can't help. (Not to mention the harm that comes from the other three Philly teams.) The media often exacerbates this condition with its pretty much constant negativity and ability to press the panic button faster than the speed of light.

The syndrome explains why Phillies fans are never comfortable being on top and are completely consumed by their fear of the good times ending and being back in the gutter. But Opening Day 2012 is not the time to let the ghosts of summers past creep into your brain! No, it’s not ideal to begin the season without your starting right side of the infield and no, nothing will ever top the Clifton Phifer rapture of last Spring Training, but let’s try to be rational.

First of all, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley aren't dead. Ryan will be back 100% most likely before the All-Star break, and while it could take him some time to regain his swing, he will be fine. The outlook for Chase might be slightly cloudier, and while it's upsetting because we love him and will miss seeing his beautiful face on the field, let's remember his numbers last year. He hit .259 with 11 HR and 44 RBI and only played in 103 games. The Phillies finished with 102 wins. If they could perform in 2011 with Chase's fill-ins, 2012 should actually be no different.

Then there's good ol' Charlie. He still can't manage a bullpen, but the man knows how to win ballgames. It's clear from Spring Training’s emphasis on bunting, and the focus on adding utility depth during the off-season, that this team is ready to win games by any means necessary. Charlie and his staff seem dedicated to the "Get 'em on, Get 'em In" strategy (see: Juan Pierre) and clean, fundamental baseball. This game plan will only help the team when Ryan is back in the line-up, considering he hasn’t hit more than 35 homeruns in the last two years.

I’m going to throw Jim Thome into this list of reasons to be positive, as well. This guy is a huge reason that the organization is where it is. When he signed here in 2003, he ended the era of superstar players running out of town, and started the era in which people like Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee choose to come to Philly. Now, he’s back – possibly for his last season – and just seeing him in red pinstripes again gives me a feeling that anything is possible. He is a mentor for the younger players on the team, an experienced veteran who has been through pretty much everything, and someone who can infuse some fun into the team – something I think was missing from the 2011 campaign.

Oh, and of course there are those starting pitchers. No one can touch the Phillies rotation. Roy, Cole, Cliff, Vance and Joey B. are hands down the best 1-5 in the league. Other teams' rotations have gotten better, but they aren't this good, experienced or diverse. I truly don't even see any reason to comment more on this.

After seven awful, baseball-less months and images of the Cardinals winning the World Series on repeat, it's finally time for the 2012 Phillies season to begin. Whether you're worried about Ryan and Chase or Cole's contract status or the glowing centerfield acid trip in Miami (no wait, that actually is worth being upset over), Phillies fans, I beg you to relax. Have a cheesesteak, enjoy the quality product this organization has on the field, and remember: Life is always better during baseball season. There may come a time when the Fightins' are at the bottom of the NL East again, but IT IS NOT THIS (Opening) DAY.

 

(Cue inspirational 9th inning movie clip, Lord of the Rings style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXGUNvIFTQw)

I Bet Batman Never Had A Degenerative Knee Condition

When the news broke about Chase Cameron Utley leaving Spring Training to go see (another) knee specialist, it sort of felt like that moment in an old cartoon, where the hero gets trapped in a terrible situation and the narrator comes on to say, "Will our Hero make it out alive to save the kids from the flaming school bus? Find out next week!" Only, in the cartoons, there’s never really a doubt that the hero will be fine, save the kids, and get the girl.

I bet Batman never had a degenerative knee condition.

Degenerative: Adj. (of a disease or condition) getting steadily worse.

I know, I know, me of all people talking like this so close to Opening Day.

While I do not think Chase’s career is over, I can't stop thinking about the bigger picture, and how it could have been different.

When Chase first came up, every Phillies fan saw the whole beautiful picture playing out in their head. A long, happy marriage between a team, a city, and it's phenomenally good looking second baseman. A gritty, hard-working player whose unparalleled baseball mind could make anyone's heart melt (or maybe that's just me). No, his range at second wasn’t great, but we knew that because of his work ethic, it would come.

Yes, the first couple years were blissful. We could see MVP awards, Cooperstown and eventually, some cushy job as the team’s alumni ambassador, or something.

Then, that stupid pitch from John Lanaan in 2007 broke his hand.

That's where things got shaky for our hero. A cranky hip throughout 2008 required surgery after the celebrations ended. A sprained thumb in 2010, and then the knee problems started. All in all, he's missed 106 games in the last two years.

The numbers certainly aren't what we expected. Most players would be thrilled to have a career .290 batting average with an .882 OPS and 1,198 hits. But, we’re talking about the difference between a solid Major Leaguer and the legend we thought Chase might become. If he had stayed healthy, and kept on pace with his 2006 season (160 games, .309 BA with 32 HRs, 102 RBI and 40 doubles), it's easy to imagine what his career numbers could have looked like. He has fallen out of the top five in most Fantasy Baseball rankings for second basemen and after five straight years on the list, he hasn’t cracked the top 10 in WAR since 2009.

It's hard not to think about the what-ifs. What if Chase hadn't gone to college and started in the system earlier? (Actually that one's easy, he would have been playing for the Dodgers.) But what if Chase didn't have to wait for the Phillies to clear space for him? What if he hadn't played in so many games early on? The speculations are endless, but it doesn't seem to matter much now. Now is a 33-year-old second baseman with a degenerative knee condition shrouded in mystery and secrecy by a general manager whose remarks on the subject usually involve “different stretches and exercises.”

I am in no way shape or form acting like Chase is dead or that the Phils never have a chance to win again – because they do. If anything, I'm already nostalgic about this core group of guys, the ones who brought us a parade and so many good memories. It’s hard to imagine the Phillies without Chase, Ryan and Jimmy, but it seems the end of this love affair is closer than we thought. After almost 10 years, it’s hard to say how many more summers we have left with this group of players together.

The 2012 Phillies are still incredibly talented, experienced and, oh yeah, there are still those three guys in the rotation. This team will not fade from contention, but they need to pull together, regardless of who takes the right side of the infield. Like an aging pitcher with less velocity, it’s time to reassess the arsenal, and find a way to win, even if it means adopting a different strategy. For the fans, it’s time to start letting go of the “what-ifs” and focusing on what’s on the field – what I believe is still one of the best teams in baseball.

Even if Chase can never get back to 100%, we should count ourselves lucky for getting the chance to watch him play when he was healthy (and that the team around his has gotten so much better). He brought a lot of passion back into Philadelphia baseball and the organization owes him a lot for getting them to where they are.

But, maybe our hero will surprise us all yet. Because, after all, “Chase Utley, you are the man.”

(Proof you really can find anything on Google.)

Bring It, March!

I hate March.

I really, really hate March.

It’s still cold. I’m not in Clearwater. I’m pale as anything.

Baseball is around the corner, but really, that just makes my desire to be at the ballpark even worse. Yes, the hockey is good, but the last 20 games are so stressful. I don’t do March Madness. The same reports coming out of Spring Training, every day. The list goes on and on. Essentially – with the exception of St. Patty’s Day – this month makes me want to crawl in my bed and not come out until Opening Day.

This year, I’m preparing early with my 5-step “Make March Less Awful” plan.

Step 1: Listen to Spring Training games on the radio at work. This is a perfect combination of things, and a carry-over from March 2011. It makes the afternoons at work absolutely fly by and it’s so comforting to hear those familiar voices. Usually the broadcasts are full of funny stories from Spring Training and Scott Franzke and LA making fun of each other about all of the things they did over the winter. Win.

Step 2: REALLY pay attention to the late innings of Spring Training games. I don’t like to talk about it, but the fact is the Phillies are getting old. In the next couple of years, the franchise is going to look substantially different. So, for the first time in a while, those unknown minor leaguers playing in the 9^th inning of Spring Training games may seriously have an impact, either on the field or in a trade. Now is the perfect time to pay attention to their mechanics, fundamentals, and most importantly, figure out what assets the team can play with.

Step 3: Watch my favorite sports movies. Once baseball season starts, there is very little time to watch movies. What better way to infuse fun and joy into these miserable March weeks than to watch all my sports movies? Opening Day is 5 weeks from today. I think I shall try to come up with my top five favorite sports movies of all time. There will be more on this soon…

Step 4: Try not to lose my mind watching the Atlantic Division points totals. For all the reasons that I hate March, scoreboard watching usually takes on a life of its own. Without much else to entertain myself with, I sit and watch the standings. It’s stressful, and the thought of not having the Flyers in the Stanley Cup Playoffs (aka the greatest thing in sports) hurts my heart.

Step 5: Watch this interview with Chase every day. Watching Chase get completely smitten about his son (and Jim Thome) is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I love him. Watch this and you'll be instantly happy – perfect for March! You'll also probably wonder if the Phillies forgot to pack sunscreen.

Okay, this may not be the greatest plan I’ve ever come up with, but at this point, anything will help! Bring it March – I’m kind of ready for you.

Three Reasons Why I Can’t Be A Sixers Fan

I found myself watching the Sixers/Lakers game last week.

Not good.

I can’t lie, I feel myself getting drawn in to all of the excitement, but there are three, very real reasons why I just cannot be a Sixers fan: Emotional Damage, Scheduling Conflicts, and Drawer Space.

1. Emotional Damage: There are countless things that could go into this category to exemplify my point, but I shall explain through three dramatic dates in 2009.

a. January 18, 2009: Less than three months removed from the Phillies championship parade down Broad Street, the Eagles were in the NFC Championship game. Everyone was talking about Philadelphia being the next Title Town, and finally stepping into the forefront of America’s sports cities. After an up and down season (you know the one with the tie to the Bengals), they defeated the Vikings, and the defending Super Bowl Champion Giants in the first two rounds of the playoffs. Problem was the Eagles weren’t actually very good and they lost (again) in the NFC Championship game. 2009 Bummer #1.

b. April 25, 2009: After a horrendous end to the season (which started right around the deadline deal of Scottie Upshall for Dan Carcillo) the Flyers slipped down in the conference standings and lost home-ice advantage in the playoffs. They opened up on the road against Pittsburgh, where the Penguins dominated both games. After battling back to get the series to 3-2, the Flyers had a commanding three goal lead in Game 6 at home… and lost. Stupid Penguins. 2009 Bummer #2.

c. November 4, 2009: AKA one of the WORST DAYS EVER. I won’t even really bother going into too much detail here. There’s no reason to. Phillies lose the World Series to the Yankees. 2009 Bummer #3.

If I had cared equally about the April 30, 2009 Sixers first round loss to the Orlando Magic as I did about the other three losses, I think I may have snapped. Uhh, snapped more than I already did.

2. Scheduling Conflicts: I am really bad at only having a slight interest in things. If I like something, I tend to borderline obsess over it. Whether it's my three sports teams, John Mayer, or – apparently – dips, I dive in head first. While I have been told several times by a variety of people that I don’t actually HAVE to watch every game, it’s not really something I’m comfortable with. When you love something, why would you want to do something else? I often rearrange or make plans around my ability to watch games, and adding a fourth team would just be too much. For example, this is what my schedule would have looked like last week if I cared about the Sixers:

Saturday, February 4: Flyers vs. Devils
Saturday, February 4: Sixers vs. Hawks
Sunday, February 5: Flyers vs. Rangers
Sunday, February 5: Super Bowl
Monday, February 6: Sixers vs. Lakers
Tuesday, February 7: Flyers vs. Islanders
Wednesday, February 8: Sixers vs. Spurs
Thursday, February 9: Flyers vs. Maple Leafs
Friday, February 10: Sixers vs. Clippers
Saturday, February 11: Flyers vs. Rangers
Saturday, February 11: Sixers vs. Cavaliers
Sunday, February 12: Flyers vs. Red Wings

Okay, no one likes sports more than I do, but with baseball around the corner, even I need a mental break. As I type right now I’m watching The Voice. Yeah, The Voice. Why? Because I need some things to talk to the rest of the female population about! Well, that and Adam Levine is so ridiculously attractive. But really, that schedule is absurd, and we know if I really got into the Sixers I would have found a way to watch every one of those games.

3. Drawer Space: You may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with watching the Sixers?” If you are, you need to go back and read point #2 again. It's a documented fact that I have a serious Philadelphia sports merchandise problem. There are two huge storage containers packed full of memorabilia crammed beneath my bed... and three more in the garage. I have two entire drawers full of t-shirts, and a good portion of my closet is full of jerseys and sweatshirts. (See picture below, taken both to illustrate my point and also because I needed to reorganize my drawers anyway.) I literally, couldn't possibly add any Sixers stuff into my collection, and what kind of fan doesn't have at least one little t-shirt?

Long story short, I hope the Sixers do well, but for my quality of life, it’s probably better that I don’t partake.

*Author’s Note: Is there a support program for Modells addicts? I wanted to count, but I think it would lead me to face that I actually have a problem. Not to mention, I haven’t done laundry in a while, so I’m pretty sure the total wouldn’t be complete. There will probably be more on this in the future…