Mayhem on Ice

People all over are talking about the NHL Playoffs. Yep, that's right. The general public in America is talking about hockey.

I wish it was for a good reason.

The first round of the NHL playoffs has been dominated by Slap Shot-esque moments, dangerous situations, and serious injuries… pretty much everything but the hockey part.

Regular season games occasionally get out of hand, but in the playoffs, teams usually keep their composure a little better. Discipline is often one of the first keys out of coaches' mouths because every penalty and resulting power play has a lot more meaning this time of year. Most teams even sit their fighters in favor of more scoring depth. Playoff hockey is a showcase of good defense, good goaltending, and the occasional fight to settle a dispute.

I don't want to talk about the individual plays and suspensions. I think we can all agree some of them were really bad and that the punishments have been confusing to say the least. What I'm concerned about is what happens next to make sure this doesn’t all continue. How can the NHL stop the craziness?

First of all, the refereeing has to be more consistent. What receives a major penalty and a game misconduct in one game is let go in another game. The refs have to take a hard look at what they are calling and find a way to make it even across all series and all games. I honestly can’t blame the players for being a bit confused as to what they are and are not allowed to do. (And then being even more amped up when calls go against their team and not their opponent.) The refs also can’t favor certain players. I don’t care what anyone says, referees in the NHL protect Sidney Crosby. It might be subconscious given his “importance” to the league or his concussion problems, but it cannot happen. When any superstar player decides to be a (insert whatever bad name you want here) and start fights, let someone on the other team give him what he's asking for. Do not jump in and try to save him. People less familiar with the game may not understand the role of fighting, but hockey is a sport where the on-ice fights control the game as much as the guys in black and white stripes.  Fighting is a way for players to self-police actions, and trying to protect certain players throws this whole system off balance.

(Side note: I think one of the biggest issues with refereeing in today’s NHL is the over-calling of stick minors. I can’t tell you how many times a player gets called for hooking – without actually impeding the opponent’s progress, at all – but cross checks to the back and other actually dangerous plays get let go.)

The league’s discipline department also needs a consistency lesson. When players assault an opponent (yes, I said assault) by bashing their head into the glass, call a penalty and suspend the player, no matter who he is. The length of suspensions should be a sliding scale based on suspension history and degree of the infraction. Basing the severity of suspensions on whether the recipient of the action gets hurt or not is absurd. The same play could knock one player out, or cause no serious injury to another, but it’s the action that the NHL needs to punish, not the result.

Something that I haven't heard anyone mention during the last week is the role that the players play in these situations. The Penguins’ Matt Cooke has been suspended five times during his NHL career, and most notably, was not suspended for his atrocious hit on the Bruins’ Marc Savard. At the end of the season last year, Cooke elbowed the Rangers’ Ryan McDonagh (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emTQpD8jmuw), and was suspended for the entire first round of the playoffs, where his team lost in 7 to Tampa Bay. Since then, Cooke – who is still a scrappy, often obnoxious player – has admirably, actually learned something from his punishment. He is nominated for the Masterton Trophy this year (the NHL award given to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey) mostly because of how he’s cleaned up his act. Cooke made a public point that he was going to learn how to be an effective player without getting suspended. He sat with his coach Dan Bylsma and dissected hit after hit trying to figure out how to restructure his game. You know what? It’s worked. He's dropped his penalty minutes from 129 last year to just 44 in 2012 and hasn’t been suspended this season.

Athletes often don’t deserve their role model tag (and I’m not in any way saying that Cooke is an exemplary role model for kids), but they do have a responsibility to the game and their opponents. The players need to realize their role in what’s happening and take it upon themselves to change it. I know it’s hard in the heat of the moment, but sometimes you have to skate away. Don’t hit people in the head, don’t leave your feet, and definitely don’t be a 2 year-old and push your opponent’s glove away when they are trying to pick it up. I’m not just bashing other teams, either.  I was as completely disgusted by Zac Rinaldo in Game 4 of the Flyers/Pens series (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MgWAkER0S_k#!). This game was already so far out of reach and Rinaldo flat out lost control. The Flyers were in their offensive zone, trying to get back on the board for the first time since the 1^st period when Rinaldo snapped. No, this wasn’t nearly as dangerous as some of the other plays that received suspensions, but it’s the exact play that players have to be smarter and try to avoid.

There’s no question that the NHL is in a tough spot. There are some new fans watching because they want to see what crazy hit happens next. You have the players on the ice who are literally at risk if this stuff keeps up. Then, you have actual fans grimacing at the joke these playoffs are turning in to. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say that Game 3 between the Flyers and Penguins was the best hockey game they've ever seen. I have to wonder how many hockey games these people have actually watched, or if they really prefer cage fighting. That was not a hockey game. There was no defense. There was no structure. The NHL playoffs so far have rarely been anything but pure Mayhem on Ice, and I hope the NHL can fix it. 

Bring It, March!

I hate March.

I really, really hate March.

It’s still cold. I’m not in Clearwater. I’m pale as anything.

Baseball is around the corner, but really, that just makes my desire to be at the ballpark even worse. Yes, the hockey is good, but the last 20 games are so stressful. I don’t do March Madness. The same reports coming out of Spring Training, every day. The list goes on and on. Essentially – with the exception of St. Patty’s Day – this month makes me want to crawl in my bed and not come out until Opening Day.

This year, I’m preparing early with my 5-step “Make March Less Awful” plan.

Step 1: Listen to Spring Training games on the radio at work. This is a perfect combination of things, and a carry-over from March 2011. It makes the afternoons at work absolutely fly by and it’s so comforting to hear those familiar voices. Usually the broadcasts are full of funny stories from Spring Training and Scott Franzke and LA making fun of each other about all of the things they did over the winter. Win.

Step 2: REALLY pay attention to the late innings of Spring Training games. I don’t like to talk about it, but the fact is the Phillies are getting old. In the next couple of years, the franchise is going to look substantially different. So, for the first time in a while, those unknown minor leaguers playing in the 9^th inning of Spring Training games may seriously have an impact, either on the field or in a trade. Now is the perfect time to pay attention to their mechanics, fundamentals, and most importantly, figure out what assets the team can play with.

Step 3: Watch my favorite sports movies. Once baseball season starts, there is very little time to watch movies. What better way to infuse fun and joy into these miserable March weeks than to watch all my sports movies? Opening Day is 5 weeks from today. I think I shall try to come up with my top five favorite sports movies of all time. There will be more on this soon…

Step 4: Try not to lose my mind watching the Atlantic Division points totals. For all the reasons that I hate March, scoreboard watching usually takes on a life of its own. Without much else to entertain myself with, I sit and watch the standings. It’s stressful, and the thought of not having the Flyers in the Stanley Cup Playoffs (aka the greatest thing in sports) hurts my heart.

Step 5: Watch this interview with Chase every day. Watching Chase get completely smitten about his son (and Jim Thome) is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I love him. Watch this and you'll be instantly happy – perfect for March! You'll also probably wonder if the Phillies forgot to pack sunscreen.

Okay, this may not be the greatest plan I’ve ever come up with, but at this point, anything will help! Bring it March – I’m kind of ready for you.

Three Reasons Why I Can’t Be A Sixers Fan

I found myself watching the Sixers/Lakers game last week.

Not good.

I can’t lie, I feel myself getting drawn in to all of the excitement, but there are three, very real reasons why I just cannot be a Sixers fan: Emotional Damage, Scheduling Conflicts, and Drawer Space.

1. Emotional Damage: There are countless things that could go into this category to exemplify my point, but I shall explain through three dramatic dates in 2009.

a. January 18, 2009: Less than three months removed from the Phillies championship parade down Broad Street, the Eagles were in the NFC Championship game. Everyone was talking about Philadelphia being the next Title Town, and finally stepping into the forefront of America’s sports cities. After an up and down season (you know the one with the tie to the Bengals), they defeated the Vikings, and the defending Super Bowl Champion Giants in the first two rounds of the playoffs. Problem was the Eagles weren’t actually very good and they lost (again) in the NFC Championship game. 2009 Bummer #1.

b. April 25, 2009: After a horrendous end to the season (which started right around the deadline deal of Scottie Upshall for Dan Carcillo) the Flyers slipped down in the conference standings and lost home-ice advantage in the playoffs. They opened up on the road against Pittsburgh, where the Penguins dominated both games. After battling back to get the series to 3-2, the Flyers had a commanding three goal lead in Game 6 at home… and lost. Stupid Penguins. 2009 Bummer #2.

c. November 4, 2009: AKA one of the WORST DAYS EVER. I won’t even really bother going into too much detail here. There’s no reason to. Phillies lose the World Series to the Yankees. 2009 Bummer #3.

If I had cared equally about the April 30, 2009 Sixers first round loss to the Orlando Magic as I did about the other three losses, I think I may have snapped. Uhh, snapped more than I already did.

2. Scheduling Conflicts: I am really bad at only having a slight interest in things. If I like something, I tend to borderline obsess over it. Whether it's my three sports teams, John Mayer, or – apparently – dips, I dive in head first. While I have been told several times by a variety of people that I don’t actually HAVE to watch every game, it’s not really something I’m comfortable with. When you love something, why would you want to do something else? I often rearrange or make plans around my ability to watch games, and adding a fourth team would just be too much. For example, this is what my schedule would have looked like last week if I cared about the Sixers:

Saturday, February 4: Flyers vs. Devils
Saturday, February 4: Sixers vs. Hawks
Sunday, February 5: Flyers vs. Rangers
Sunday, February 5: Super Bowl
Monday, February 6: Sixers vs. Lakers
Tuesday, February 7: Flyers vs. Islanders
Wednesday, February 8: Sixers vs. Spurs
Thursday, February 9: Flyers vs. Maple Leafs
Friday, February 10: Sixers vs. Clippers
Saturday, February 11: Flyers vs. Rangers
Saturday, February 11: Sixers vs. Cavaliers
Sunday, February 12: Flyers vs. Red Wings

Okay, no one likes sports more than I do, but with baseball around the corner, even I need a mental break. As I type right now I’m watching The Voice. Yeah, The Voice. Why? Because I need some things to talk to the rest of the female population about! Well, that and Adam Levine is so ridiculously attractive. But really, that schedule is absurd, and we know if I really got into the Sixers I would have found a way to watch every one of those games.

3. Drawer Space: You may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with watching the Sixers?” If you are, you need to go back and read point #2 again. It's a documented fact that I have a serious Philadelphia sports merchandise problem. There are two huge storage containers packed full of memorabilia crammed beneath my bed... and three more in the garage. I have two entire drawers full of t-shirts, and a good portion of my closet is full of jerseys and sweatshirts. (See picture below, taken both to illustrate my point and also because I needed to reorganize my drawers anyway.) I literally, couldn't possibly add any Sixers stuff into my collection, and what kind of fan doesn't have at least one little t-shirt?

Long story short, I hope the Sixers do well, but for my quality of life, it’s probably better that I don’t partake.

*Author’s Note: Is there a support program for Modells addicts? I wanted to count, but I think it would lead me to face that I actually have a problem. Not to mention, I haven’t done laundry in a while, so I’m pretty sure the total wouldn’t be complete. There will probably be more on this in the future…

Sports Fans Need to Learn How to Window Shop

Sports fans need a serious lesson in window shopping. When you window shop, you go to the mall, walk around, peruse the expensive stuff you’ll never actually buy, and then you leave. Window shopping involves spending no money (except perhaps on a delicious Auntie Anne’s pretzel, which we all know is not actually a waste), and no buyer’s remorse. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.

Sounds nice doesn’t it? Well, that’s exactly what All-Star Games are all about. The games give viewers the chance to admire talent they don’t get to see often, all without the pressure and the permanent scars left from Johnny Damon double-steals in the World Series and the like.

Yet, no one seems to watch?

I know the formats aren’t perfect. Fan voting turned All-Star Games into worse popularity contests than homecoming court, and resulted in 87 Ottawa Senators on one hockey team. The Pro Bowl got moved to the Bye week before the Super Bowl to avoid, as Roger Goodell said, "a somewhat anticlimactic" end to the season. Now people hate it even more. Oh, and then there’s Bud Selig and the whole “This Time It Counts (again and again and again),” thing. I mean deciding who gets home field advantage in the World Series by who wins an exhibition game? Really?

Disagree with these things as you might (and I do), the leagues are doing what they can to keep the events alive, bring in some viewers, and draw some revenue from them. It’s a business. I get that part. But what I don’t get is why these games don’t gather the usual, ravenous fan base?

Near as I can figure, it’s the lack of actual competition, which is sort of sad when you think about it. If people can’t be completely emotionally invested in something, it’s like it just doesn’t matter. But isn’t that exactly the point? These games don’t matter. These events are supposed to be an opportunity for the best and brightest to show off their skills and for us the fans to enjoy their talent. No one’s supposed to live or die by these things.

In this year’s NHL All-Star Skills Competition, the sport showed off the fact that it’s stronger than it’s been in a long time. Players that aren’t Ovechkin or Crosby displayed their personalities and talents in a hell of an entertaining evening. Patrick Kane both dressed up like Superman and put together an exploding puck. Goalies were practically doing somersaults in net. And, Daniel Sedin was Daniel Sedin all over the passing competition. (See YouTube here, 13:45 mark or preferably just watch the whole video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TnnohSzTzs) The night had no impact on anything – it was just fun.

The Home Run Derby and Midsummer Classic are two of my favorite days of the year. The best baseball players from the first half of the season gather together to hit the crap out of some baseballs and play each other in an exhibition game, just like all the baseball All-Stars have done every year before them (the Derby as we know since 1985 and the Game since 1933). Players bring their kids, enjoy the honor of being an All-Star and then proceed into the best months of the season. What’s not to like? Why does it have to matter?

I’m sure even on post #2 you’ve all figured out that I’m a bit of a purist, but if you put the best talents in a sport on TV in a celebration of skill, individual achievement, and the sport itself, I’ll be watching… even if I’m the only one.